On the heels of the “Is My Son Gay” Android App, Legal Voice has developed an application that will identify, in no uncertain terms, whether or not you’re a hateful, unintelligent human being. With a quick 20 question quiz, you will be able to identify yourself according to three categories:
Complete Ignoramus
Just Plain Dumb
When reached for comment Legal Voice said that they are “proud to offer a surefire way for people to know with certainly whether or not they should really be leading that anti-racism seminar at their place of work, or touting their gay acquaintances as proof that they’re totally ok with homosexuality. “ Here are some of the questions set for inclusion in the upcoming app:
- Do you feel that participating in fist fights will quell any questions about your sexuality?
- When you call a plumber, do you skip over the female names in the phonebook?
- Do you own a shirt bearing any of the following phrases?
“Straight Pride”
“Nice new girlfriend. What breed is she?”
“Life’s a bitch, so don’t vote for one.”
- Have you ever forced your son to withdraw from P.E. class upon learning that Bollywood dance would be included in the next lesson?
- Do you publicly scoff at Barbara Streisand, while secretly admiring her amazing voice and theatricality?
- Do you bully your child into attending baseball games despite the clear indications that they bore him to tears?
- Do you believe that when a presidential candidate makes a joke that the wrinkles in his shirt are not to be blamed on his wife, that it’s just good ol’ fashioned Texas humor?
- Do you become disproportionately outraged when a mother paints her son’s toe nails pink?
- Do you believe that books about gay animals should be banned from your child’s school library?
- Do you believe that we have earned the title “Post-Racial America” simply because we elected an African American president?
Legal Voice hopes that the app will hit the market in time for 2012 presidential candidates to save themselves from further just plain dumb comments. That said, representatives from the organization are not hopeful. “There’s only so much we can do.”
*This App is completely fictitious. Its sole purpose is to point out the
idiocy of certain recently released stereotype-perpetuating apps.